


you couldn't feel me underneath the covers

by scepticallyopenminded



Series: 30 Day Lyrics Challenge - 2017 [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Possible Sad Ending, Second Chances, i've NO idea how to tag this, possible happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 10:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scepticallyopenminded/pseuds/scepticallyopenminded
Summary: But that first sight, seeing Louis looking so bright, happy, energetic. As beautiful as ever, he looked ethereal sometimes, and now was one of those times. It hit Liam, everything he’d ever felt for Louis. Like shit.





	you couldn't feel me underneath the covers

**Author's Note:**

> heyyyyo I'm doing a 30-day writing challenge with DefaltManifesto where we gave each other 30 different lyrics from 30 different songs and every day we have to write something based on those lyrics. this is the first one!
> 
> based on Rehab by MGK: "even if you couldn't sleep because you couldn't feel me underneath the covers when your eyes closed"
> 
> this is the first 1d thing I've written in a long while but I just felt inspired by this song so here ya go.

Seeing Louis for the first time in seven months was –

Liam didn’t know how to describe it, not really. He felt like he’d been punched in the chest, like the wind had been knocked out of him. It wasn’t even that it was a surprise, to see him; Liam had fully been expecting, even looking forward to, seeing – touching, hugging, hanging out with – Louis.

But that first sight, seeing Louis looking so bright, happy, energetic. As beautiful as ever, he looked ethereal sometimes, and _now_ was one of those times. It _hit_ Liam, everything he’d ever felt for Louis. Like _shit_.

They’d agreed, so fucking long ago, so fucking early on, that when the band ended, so would they. And though the band was technically on hiatus, it’s final fate hanging somewhere none of them were sure of, they’d still decided it had to be the end. It just wasn’t _possible_ , not really, not everything they both wanted for the rest of their lives. They weren’t that everything to each other.

Seeing him for the first time in so many months, though, meant that all of that just – went out the door. All he’d promised Louis, all he’d promised himself. Gone.

And it had been so easy – approaching Louis as suave as Liam dared to be without Louis making fun of him, smiling as charming as he could, going in for that hug like it was nothing, like it was meant to be.

Maybe it was. Because it was _so_ easy, keeping his eyes on Louis throughout the night, Louis always in the corner of his eye. So easy to watch Louis watch him back, lick his lips, the small smile gracing his face every time he caught Liam looking his way.

So easy to walk up to Louis at the end of the night, neither of them quite all the way there, too many things going around not to be at least a little out of it, so easy to touch his hips, whisper in his ear.

So easy to ask, “Your hotel or mine?” into his mouth as they stumbled out of the area, attached at all body parts they could be attached at, nobody paying them any mind, the private exit away from any prying eyes.

So easy to strip Louis slowly, touch all the parts he hadn’t been able to in so, so long, so easy to forget about the last few months, to forget everything they’d agreed on, to forget all the time they’d been apart and to fall together like it hadn’t been any time at all. So easy to kiss him thoroughly, suck a dark bruise into his collarbone to remind him later, take him apart slowly. So easy to fuck him _, love him_ again like it hadn’t been ages since they’d seen each other, ages since they’d even spoken.

It was _now_ , though, hours later, morning, the sun barely peaking over the balcony attached to Louis’ room. And now Liam was thinking too much again, about the exact reasons they’d agreed to leave it behind them, a foolish part of their younger selves that they wouldn’t need, a crutch that was too much to be carried on into the rest of their lives.

They weren’t each other’s everything.

But here they were, Liam watching the sunrise, sitting on the edge of the bed as Louis continued to sleep on behind him.

_“We’re not each other’s everything.”_

That’s what they’d said to each other. They were young, early twenties, the rest of their lives stretched out in front of them, but it had been so much more than that. They’d trusted each other implicitly, they _all_ had had to to be as successful as they’d wanted to be, and even more so with the added intimacy he and Louis had introduced to their relationship early on. They’d trusted each other with everything, including their own habits.

Their codependency had bled into every part of them, and that had been too much to deal with and they both knew it. But watching him now – soft, angelic even, fast asleep and looking every bit the man Liam had fallen in love with – made Liam wonder if they could do it _now_. After seven months apart, maybe they’d be better about it. Those seven months hadn’t been easy, by and far, and every day Liam felt some part of himself reaching out toward someone who wasn’t there. But not _someone_. Louis, in particular.

But they’d still done it successfully. Stayed apart even though they had the money and sometimes the time to fly across the fucking world for each other. They’d broken that codependent part of themselves. But maybe with time spent together, it would grow back like a stubborn weed. Maybe it followed them around like a lost puppy, just waiting for them to pay attention again.

“You’re thinkin’ too ‘ard,” Louis mumbled then, and Liam glanced over to see him blinking awake, face pressed into the pillow and eyes barely open. Watching Liam with a small smile. That had always been Louis’ specialty; either worrying too much, or worrying too little. Consequences scared him too much or too little. There was no in between.

This was too little.

Liam wasn’t going to lie to himself; it had been the best night’s sleep he’d had in some time. Louis’ form next to his always comforted him, made him feel young and happy again, like he had nothing in the world to think about but _this_ , _now_.

He wasn’t naïve. But with Louis here, now, he felt _okay_ again.

Maybe they could do it this time. Maybe this was a sign that they couldn’t do it without each other, that even the slightest chance and they’d do it all over again. Or maybe they’d fall back into old habits, bad habits.

They were happy together. But would they be happier apart, long-term?

Liam smiled back at Louis’ barely awoken figure. He didn’t know, if he was honest with himself. But if he was honest with himself, he’d prepare himself for a broken heart again.

_We aren’t each other’s everything_.

**Author's Note:**

> find me at [asocialfoxpaw](http://asocialfoxpaw.tumblr.com/)
> 
> don't worry I'm still working on everything else too!


End file.
